Fate and Deceit
by The Living Joke
Summary: *swearing and mature themes* Harleen Quinzel starts her new life, but will fate drag her back in? Will the Joker want her back? Anger, love, mental instability, PANCAKES! and stome stuff you'll have to find out! all in FaTe AnD dEcEiT
1. Changes

okay this is my first story so don't be so hard on me. please review and i can accept constructive critisism. Some stuff in here may be confusing for some people, there is a lot of background stuff about Harley Quinn that people who are total batman freaks, like myslef, should know, just to fill you in.

I DO NOT OWN THE RIGHTS TO ANY BATMAN CHARACTER OR ORIGIN

Chapter One

My name is Harleen Quinzel, formerly known as Harley Quinn. I you've never heard of me, I am a bit surprised. I used to be one of the Crime Queens of Gotham, but I've changed. I used to be madly in love with a murderous psychopath, but I've changed. My whole life changed ever since I helped the Batman, ever since I came to know what a slime ball, dirt bag criminal bastard the Joker is. And yet, here I am, back to where my problems first began, Arkham Asylum. Arkham. Boy, was I foolish then, but, I've changed. And still, I am here. I remember the day when everything went downhill…again.

After I was rehabilitated, I joined a traveling circus group ironically name "The Flying Harlequins". With my enhanced physical ability and balance, I became a fan favorite. Many people including my friends in the group forgave me for what I did, but it wasn't to encouraging for parents to hear that a performer is a former convict and psychopath, but I have redeemed myself. The particular event that changed my life for a second time was at our last show in Metropolis, I was giving my self a pep talk in my dressing room.

_**FLASHBACK**_

"You did great Harleen, you have a new life, new friends, new goals. You are cured."

Then she walked in.

"Nice job Harley."

"_Gasp. _R-Re-… uhh, I mean… _P-Pamela._ Nice to, umm, see you again."

"Don't call me 'Pamela', _Harleen_."

She sneered and looked at me with her piercing eyes.

"I miss you. Why did you leave? We had something great going, but you had to go and ruin by helping _him_."

"Listen to me Ivy, I'm not like you anymore. I'm better. I'm cured."

"No, you listen to me you snot-nose goody-goody."

Now she was getting angry.

"You were one of the most respectable people I knew, and you have ruined your reputation. Just wait. This little 'act' you're puttin' on is gonna eat away at you. Soon enough, you'll be back to what you wer4 doin' before. Being the criminal you used to be, being the crazy bitch you were before."

She stormed out and stopped at the doorway.

"By the way Quinzel, people like us can never, get better, we can never be cured, we only get worse in time.


	2. Old Friends Return

OK, here is chapter 2 in its entirety, I removed the intro and put it in this chapter. PLEASE REVIEW!!

Thanks to Kaida Gin for ideas in this intro

The Living Joke

**Old friends Return**

He sat impatiently. The thought of a sultry, thin, feminine body lurked in the back of his mind. He began to tap his foot to keep himself busy. The twiddling of thumbs only increased in speed with each passing second. Her smile, her hair, her devotion, her laugh. The anger and frustration was building up inside him with each racing thought. He burst. Screaming at the top of his lungs, he threw a picture frame at the wall. As the frame smashed into numerous, unfixable pieces, a picture of him with a laughing girl in a jester hat laid on the floor.

A henchman walked in

"Mr. Joker?"

"WHAT?"

"Ivy's back."

"Perfect, send her in."

Poison Ivy walked through the door, and took a seat next to the Joker.

"All right, I found where Harley was, I did my job, where's the cash?"

"Ah, Ah, Ah! Hold on one minute Miss Ivy, where is my Harleykins?"

-Sigh- "She is traveling with some circus in Metropolis, 'The Flying Harleyquinns' or something like that."

"Did she ask about me? Was she different? Please tell me she hasn't gained any weight since she left her daarrrling Mister J?"

"No, no, and no."

"Hmmmmm..."

"...Can I have my money now?"

"I don't understand it. First, she loves me, and the next she is off regaining her life back! I am her life! She should be here right now, right here, with me, the two of us, planning to get rid of the wretched Batman. Why has she left me? Why has she deserted me?

"Maybe it's because you neglected her, abused her, took advantage of her, oh, and she may be upset at the fact that you ultimately strapped her to a rocket and sent her flying to her grisly and early death. Luckily I was there to save her and fix her up. You know Joker, a lot of girls would be mad if their boyfriends strapped them to a rocket and shot them into the sky to regain their 'image'.

The Joker was fuming.

"Now about that money..."

"YOU INCOMPETENT WORTHLESS WASTE OF SPACE. YOU THINK I AM HAPPY THAT MY SERV- I MEAN, DARLING HARLEY, IS OFF LIVING HER LIFE WHILE I AM LEFT HERE TO WASTE AWAY TRYING TO RID OF BATMAN WHEN SHE SHOULD BE HERE? WHEN THINGS SHOULD BE THE WAY THEY WERE? GOD, AND I THOUGHT YOU HAD A BRAIN IN THAT POLLEN FILLED HEAD OF YOURS. WHY DO YOU THINK I HIRED YOU? I WANT HARLEY BACK HERE AND I WILL NOT REST UNTIL SHE IS HERE WADING ON ME HAND AND FOOT!

"She won't come back."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE WON'T COME BACK??"

"I saw her, she has made herself believe that she is sane, she won't come back"

The Joker took a deep breath and relaxed.

"Then we will MAKE her come back."

"How do you plan on doing that?"

"With you, some other 'friends' of ours, and some planning."

"You are still gonna need me? This'll cost extra."

"Don't worry my dear Ivy, you will get your money, and I will get my Harley back. In due time Miss Ivy, in due time."


	3. Complications

Complications

"LA LA LA LA! I LIKE PANCAKES! THEY ARE TASTY! LA LA LA!"

Harleen sang herself a cheery tune, while making breakfast.

She turned on the TV to find a groundbreaking news report. The reporter appeared on screen.

"Hello, welcome to Gotham at Dawn. Last Night at 11 o' clock, The Gotham Museum of fine art was robbed. 5 pieces of artwork were stolen, each piece depicting clowns. Of the pieces stolen was a Ricardo Vincenzo original, a famous piece of a male and female clown kissing. We have just received news of the suspects. 2 were spotted at the museum, but have not been identified yet. From this dark picture we see a male wearing a purple suit, with very pale skin, and green hair, the other a female, slender, young, with brown hair, wearing black and blue tights. The Gotham Police have identified the suspect to be the Joker, but the female accomplice has yet to be identified."

Harleen sat, her jaw wide open.

"Oh, it seems we have just received video footage pertaining to the robbery."

The screen went fuzzy and a person appeared.

"Hello morons of Gotham. Guess who! You're having some trouble, let me give you a hint.

Harleen, jaw still wide open, uttered, "Mistah J?"

"I am the man who robbed the museum! UGH! That's it, no more games! TAH DAH!!! It's me, the Joker! I've been away for a while, but now I'm BACK! I guess you all know about what I stole, but there's plenty more to come. I have a new outlook on crime! And I have a new assistant! Oh _Janie_!!!!!

A thin girl walked into the picture

"Yes cupcake?"

"Smile for the camera Janie, all of Gotham's watching!"

"Hi losers!"

The perky girl waved and smiled.

"Now, enough chit-chat, lets get down to business. I hope the Gotham Police force is watching, you might want to write this down. Tomorrow at midnight, me and my darling Janie here are going to rob the Gotham Museum of Ancient Artifacts. But here's the catch! We're not going to tell you what! Heee heee heee! Take a wild guess Commissioner Gordon! Oh, here's a bonus, we-"

"Oh! Can I talk cupcake? I_ love _the camera, I was in this movie once and-"

"Not right now sweetheart, cupcake's busy."

"But I wanna talk!!!"

"NOT NOW YOU TWIT!"

The girl was silenced.

" Now, as I was saying before I was RUDELY interrupted. We will be stealing a love related artifact, one of the 700 artifacts at the museum! Good luck! HA HA HA HA, mmm, HEE HEE HEE! AH HA HA HA HAAAAAAA!"

The screen went blank.

"Who does that hussy think she is? Stealing my loving Mistah J from me. IT'S NOT FAIR! I should be there with him, not that fake tramp. –gasp-. Wha-what's gotten into me? NO, I can't act like this. He, HE is doing this to me. There is only one way to top this. Tomorrow, I'm going to steal that artifact, before the Joker and that hussy can get to it. Then that'll be the end."


	4. TwoFace

Hey readers, sorry its been a while but here is the next chapter. Now it may seem confusing, but for the next couple of chapters, it will be a little special treat. I am doing the perspective from other villains' views, delving into their psychosis, at the time when the joker is coming around to putting his "plan" into fruition. I was planning on doing separate stories on each villain, but I was too lazy, so enjoy! (now don't get all pissy the regular story plot will be back!)

TWO-FACES POINT OF VIEW

The night. I feel his presence. Lurking in the shadows, waiting for the right moment. He's watching me. He doesn't know I'm watching him. Waiting. In my eternal damnation. Ever since that moment, trapped forever. He doesn't understand, no one understands. Only me, and _myself._ Will it end? It can, with the flip of a coin.

Heads, it's him, tails, it's me.

*Flip*

Ever so gently, falling. Him or me. Almost there.

*Clunk*

Heads, how appropriate. Now, heads, he lives, tails, _he dies_.

*Flip*

Yes, almost there.

*CRASH*

The coin, where is the coin?

"HOLY SHIT!"

No, not him, not now.

*BANG*

"Heh heh, sorry Harvey! Kinda tripped over your collection of weapons over there."

"_WHAT DO YOU WANT????"_

" OH! My apologies Harvey, I didn't know you were busy! Well there is no point for me to leave now, I would be making another ruckus on the way back"

"Why are you here?"

"I am here to ask a favor, Mr. Dent. Heh heh heh…"

"What can I possibly do for you? You have money, a reputation, and a rather _lovely _assistant."

"Sorry to say this my buckaroo, me and Harley are no more."

"Why?"

"Things didn't work out. There were complications, I shot her out of a rocket, the usual."

"_SO WHY ARE YOU HERE?!"_

"I am in need of some…services…"

"I am in no mood for this Joker! And why would you think that I would help you?"

"Because there are _two _big bags of money I have for you if you do"

…

"Fine, what can I do?"

"Well, the plan is under wraps right now, but I'm gonna need you to take a bullet for me."

"Depends on the bullet"

"I need you to handle a certain _pest_, an irritating, degrading, pest that will get in my way…"

"You want me to take care of the Batman."

"Ahh, Harvey, right on the money, particularly two bags, if you catch my drift."

"I'll take care of the Batman, but I want my money now."

"Ah ah ahh my impatient friend, you will get your money, as soon as I see batman in you grasp."

"Fine, but I better get it."

"You will Dent, you will."

"What is you plan anyway?"

"Listen to the news tomorrow, I am sure that her and I will be on it."

"You and who?"

"Fnff, hee hee hee, AH HA HA HA HAAAAAAA!"

So, it is decided. You and I Batman, it will be the end. What is that?

*Twinkle Twinkle*

Ah, my coin.

…

Heads, how appropriate.


End file.
